From the moment the doctor put your precious baby girl into your arms, you’ve been dreaming about the amazing things that will happen in her life. You’ve thought about her first steps, her first words, her high school graduation – but most of all, you’ve imagined the moment that she falls in love and starts her own happily ever after.

Well, it seems that fateful day has finally arrived! Your beautiful daughter is engaged, and you’re officially the MOB: mother of the bride.

This is an exciting time in your daughter’s life (and – let’s be honest – yours, too). But what exactly does it mean to be the MOB? Here are a few key do’s and don’ts you should follow to make this wedding experience a dream for both of you.

Best Practices for the Mother of the Bride

As the mother of the bride, your job is to support your daughter emotionally (and sometimes financially) as she plans her special day. You should offer suggestions, be a sounding board for her ideas, and generally make the planning process smoother and simpler for the bride and groom.

To be an exceptional MOB, consider the following tips:

Be Supportive of the Bride’s Dress Preferences

Shopping for a wedding dress can feel like a high-stakes occasion. After all, this is one of the most important gowns a woman will wear in her life – it’s essential to find something that’s absolutely perfect. Unfortunately, mothers and daughters don’t always agree on what’s “absolutely perfect,” and their differing tastes can cause real problems in the bridal boutique.

As the mother of the bride, it is your job to help her find the right wedding gown. However, it’s also your job to be supportive of the styles that she likes best. Remember, this is her wedding, not yours; there’s nothing more important than making sure she is happy with her choice.

Dress Appropriately

Your daughter may be the center of attention on her wedding day, but you will have your fair share of eyes on you, too. The mother of the bride is considered a host of the wedding, and that means you’ll likely have to walk down the aisle at the start of the ceremony and say a few words at some point during the reception.

If you’re going to have a prominent role in the wedding festivities, you’d better look the part!

Mother of the bride dresses are meant to be elegant, beautiful, and age-appropriate. Make sure that you wear a dress that doesn’t show too much skin (a square or heart-shaped neckline is always a nice choice) and is flattering to your shape. Think about the part of your figure you want to highlight (for example, your shoulders or legs) and look for a gown that makes these assets look their best (for example, an off-the-shoulder neckline or a knee-length number that shows off your calves).

As the mother of the bride is technically part of the wedding party, it is appropriate to look for a dress that matches the wedding color palette (and it should be no surprise that white is OFF LIMITS). However, remember to consult with your daughter before you purchase anything.

Be an Observer in the Bridal Suite

The bridal suite is a bustle of activity on the morning of a wedding. The girls are getting their glam on, sipping mimosas, and enjoying the excitement of the coming day.

Mothers of the bride and groom are often welcome to join in this ritual – but it’s important to remember that this is a big moment for your daughter and her friends. Make sure you don’t monopolize her time during this bonding experience with her squad.

Have the Bride’s Back

Planning a wedding can be very stressful, and stress can bring out the worst in anyone. Brides, grooms, parents, siblings, and even vendors can get ugly if something doesn’t go the right way! If this happens during your daughter’s wedding day, it’s your job to step in and set things right.

Talk to vendors who are running into issues. Tell pushy relatives to back off. Do whatever it takes to make sure your daughter and her new spouse have a happy and stress-free wedding day! By stepping up to help when necessary – and stepping back when the bride asks you to – you can help make the wedding planning process a happier, easier experience.

Be in the Moment

It can be tempting to pull out your phone and capture every memory of your daughter’s big day. But remember this: your girl is about to start her own adventure into married life. She’ll want you there to enjoy it with her, rather than hidden behind a camera. Leave the filming to the photographer and make sure you’re living in the moment!

Things to Avoid as the MOB

So, we’ve talked about the things that a MOB should do during a wedding. But what things should a MOB never do? Here are a few major no-no’s that will turn you from a mother of the bride into a momzilla:

Don’t Be Late

Most wedding venues give couples limited time to host their nuptials. Punctuality is key if you want to have as much time as possible to celebrate! If the MOB is running late, the wedding really can’t get started – and holding up the festivities is a great way to ruin your daughter’s day.

Don’t Change the Wedding Day Details

We’ve already talked about how stressful it can be to plan a wedding. What makes it so stressful? The bride and groom must make many decisions about every detail of the day! Everything, from the color of

the linens to the music that plays during cocktail hour, was carefully selected by your daughter and her sweetheart – and that means they aren’t up for negotiation. Even if you think that something isn’t quite right, never change a wedding-day detail without the bride’s express permission.

Don’t Let Your Nerves Show

Wedding-day nerves are common among brides, grooms, and their loved ones. However, the wedding day is not the time to be a nervous wreck! Do your best to conquer your jitters so you can offer your daughter words of affirmation and encouragement. Trust us, she’s going to want to hear positivity from you on this special day.

Don’t Steal the Show

Your daughter’s wedding is a day you’ve probably spent years dreaming about. Now that it’s finally here, you might feel like this is YOUR party; you might want a chance to re-do your own big day, or you might want the photographers to snap a few shots of you looking fabulous in your gown.

Yes, your daughter’s wedding is a great opportunity to have a good time – but remember, your daughter is the star of the event. Do your best to step back and enjoy the wedding from the sidelines, giving your daughter and her new spouse the chance to shine.

If you follow our do’s and don’ts, you’ll be the ideal mother of the bride: supportive, sweet, and totally stylish! Just remember to listen to your daughter’s wishes throughout the planning process. At the end of the day, this is all for her.

Author Bio: Jonah Levine is the Creative Director of NewYorkDress.com. NewYorkDress.com, established in 2008, is the #1 online source for Evening and Prom dresses worldwide. As Creative Director, Jonah works to create the ultimate online and in store luxury shopping experience with a focus on service and personalization.