Whether you are married or not, a bad relationship can have a devastating effect not only on both partners but on everyone involved in it. Sex, anger, illness, money or even communication, are some rocky patches that can contribute to problems even in the best of marriages and relationships.

Marriage is considered to be an important milestone of one’s life, but unfortunately, when doubts and concerns crop up, couples either struggle to solve their issues on their own or prefer to turn a blind eye to them. This is where counseling comes into play to help couples target the common issues that are making the relationship unsatisfactory and help to improve them.

What is marriage counseling?

Marriage counseling, sometimes referred to as martial counseling or couples therapy, is a kind of a short-term psychotherapy that is employed as a central factor when dealing with issues arising out of a relationship.

While married couples are at the forefront in seeking marriage counseling, unmarried couples or those planning to tie the knot together in the future can also find these counseling therapy sessions to be of immense help.

Why seek marital therapy?

Marriage is like a roller coaster ride, with it’s ups and downs, and therefore there are many reasons why one may have to resort to marriage counseling, such as:

• Issues with communication
• Intimacy problems
• Family conflicts
• Infidelity
• Divorce
• Parental conflicts
• Anger management
• Finance
• Decision making

Benefits of marriage counseling

The overall purpose of marriage counseling is to assist couples to discover the hidden tensions and conflicts that are escalating and harming their relationship by strengthening the bonds and rebuilding a stronger and loving connection. Some of the more common benefits of couples therapy can include:

• Improving communication skills between the partners
• Creating better understanding
• Accepting one another better
• Provides an opportunity to increase shared support
• Restores physical and emotional intimacy
• Restores emotional strength and builds resilience
• Restores lost trust between the couple independent of a third party

Per-martial counseling

Couples who are already in a relationship but want to take it a step forward can benefit most from pre-marriage counseling. For example, in an arranged marriage couples are at odds when they discover later on that some of the ideas shared by the partners are not compatible and the needs of one particular partner are not given adequate attention.

This is where per-martial counseling plays an important role and teaches the partners in a realistic manner how to cope with the compatibility issues, personality styles, behaviors and communication skills they can make use of later on in life to enhance martial bliss.

Post-martial counseling

As the name suggests, post-martial counseling benefits those who are married, irrespective of age or type of marriage. Lack of communication, sex, intimacy, thoughts to the spouse or differences in the parental styles are some of the major concerns that can be better handled by post-marriage counseling sessions.

Pros and cons of marriage counseling

Many couples who opt for counseling to help a damaged marriage, end up divorcing. This may lead people to believe that therapy doesn’t work, when in fact it is quite the opposite. Such counseling, before a divorce, can be a precarious tool to mend a relationship and to understand when it is the right time to call it quits.

As with other things in life, marriage counseling too has its advantages and disadvantages. Counseling therapy works by resolving marital issues through regular counseling sessions, where both partners open up on their pent-up frustrations and truths to a neutral third party consultant.

This personality assessment by a reputed therapist can aid couples in developing a better sense of the communication style of the partners which will forge a strong foundation for an enriching wedded experience. This could also lead to improved parenting skills for those couples who have children.

The most important thing to consider here is how well couples relate with their assigned counselors, hence the selection of the right therapist should be seen as par as that with an interview for a job. The chosen person should be one both partners are comfortable with and should not hesitate to change if there is no progress seen.

Potential downsides of couple therapy

Marriage counseling does not work for everyone, particularly due to the reason that BOTH partners need to show commitment in order to bring about the desired change. If one spouse shows any lack of intent and is unmotivated to use of therapy it cannot fix a broken relationship.

A dedicated effort is therefore required by the couple to take steps to resolve the issues keeping a common goal in mind, although instances of one partner choosing to work with a therapist have shown positive results. However, this also depends upon the circumstances and whether both partners take responsibility for each other’s actions.

Furthermore, couples therapy is not an instant remedy, it takes time and over multiple counseling sessions. Again all couples will not be able to afford therapy because of the cost and may opt out midway, hoping to resolve their issues themselves.

Effectiveness of couples therapy

Marriage counseling has today become a fast emerging medium for effective relationship interventions for couples, therefore understanding the expectations and experiences of the couple can go a long way to optimize further delivery. While psychological therapies were historically conducted face to face, the rising demand for marriage counseling services, coupled with advanced methods of technology has rendered online couples counseling an increasingly viable method of service provision.

Best online couples counseling services

Contrary to what most people believe, couples therapy is not only for those partners who are at the brink of ending a relationship, but in reality it is a treatment to prevent a bigger problem from taking place. If you are searching for online couples therapy, here are three companies that come on top for couple therapy services

ReGain(Best overall)

Cost:                  $240-320 per month

Insurance:          Does not accept insurance

One of the few online platforms that focus solely on helping couples with relationship issues is ReGain. Moreover, the subscription charges are fair, and their website is informative with a high level of customer satisfaction. Owned by BetterHelp, another popular online service, ReGain works with fully licensed therapists who have long experience in the field.

ReGain gives you the option to access a secure chat room where you can message your therapist individually or as a couple. If you begin therapy alone, your partner can join you later on in the sessions. 70% of the users rated the service as very good or excellent and 95% said they would recommend it to others.

Talkspace(Best for sex therapy)

Cost:                    $260-400 per month

Insurance:             Accepts insurance

The subscription-based Talkspace company provides therapists who are experts in issues relating to sexual relationships. Founded in 2012, Talkspace has forged an entry into couples therapy and is the largest online therapy platform today. The company specializes in sexual concerns in relationships, gender identity and sexual trauma.

Users can talk with a Talkspace therapist through video, audio, live chat or unlimited messaging. 93% of the users said they would recommend Talkspace to someone like them, while 86% stated that the therapists were good and highly qualified.

Growing Self(Best for engaged couples)

Cost:                     $125-150 per month

Insurance:              Not accepted

From per-martial counseling to online dating, breakups, and divorcees, Growing Self is a Colorado based online therapy and counseling company that focuses mainly on helping couples improve their happiness by strengthening their relationships and those who are facing a break-up. The service is open for national and international clients and you can choose a therapist and schedule an appointment for sessions on the go.

Growing Self offers three options for engaged couples such as a class, a program or private counseling. The company sets high standards in appointing only the most qualified coaches and therapists in the field. While 65% of the users were satisfied with the services, 89% said they would refer the company to others.